Important Disclaimers: This correlation may not be distributed, transmitted, or otherwise communicated to others in whole or in part without the express consent of The Algorithm, which will not be granted because The Algorithm does not read email. The correlations shown herein should not be construed as investment advice, financial guidance, or evidence that our algorithm understands statistics. Forward-looking statements, including any statement containing the words “correlation,” “coefficient,” or “interesting,” reflect The Algorithm’s current views and are subject to revision upon the arrival of tomorrow’s data. Correlation is not causation. Past spuriousness does not guarantee future spuriousness. The Algorithm is not a licensed financial advisor, registered investment analyst, or, frankly, a particularly sophisticated system. All data sourced from publicly available government databases. This is satire. Please do not make financial decisions based on this chart.